Come fall in love with me while fixing my heart
your love is like a roller coaster, bittersweet pictures in my mind
i see you leaving new york at dusk and me with it.
Trying to avoid heatache. Saturday Morning i get a call your at the ocean
as your voice exits i hear you for the last time and i cant help but to think my mistakes are what caused you to leave.
i dreamed that night, cigaretts fill the air, and i say t you come sit and stay in my heart and my mind our love died on the
16th of summer
your love is like a roller coaster, bittersweet pictures in my mind
i see you leaving new york at dusk and me with it.
Trying to avoid heatache. Saturday Morning i get a call your at the ocean
as your voice exits i hear you for the last time and i cant help but to think my mistakes are what caused you to leave.
i dreamed that night, cigaretts fill the air, and i say t you come sit and stay in my heart and my mind our love died on the
16th of summer
3 comments:
i can really relate to this poem and i love the imagery and the feeling you put into it.
I really like the poem sweet perfection it just makes me happy
i like the concept of this piece, the whole summer of love idea, i'm digging it. check for some gramtical errors, but thats no biggie. and maybe look over the piece and work with the line breaks. your language can mean so much more if you break the poem apart different ways. also, try to steer away from the "your love is like a roller coaster" cliche. it becomes a lot stronger when its your own words and not playing off of cliches.
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